Luminous

I recently entered 2 paintings into a local art show and one of my paintings was bought by someone! :) eeeeeekkkkk. I'm hanging in someone's house...not literally speaking...nevertheless, madly exciting.

<3

C

really I do?

Recently I just had a wonderful experience at a songwriting competition in La Grange, TX at the Bugle Boy. It was a quaint and lovely listening room. It was the first experience I had in a listening room and it was amazing. Everyone had this mutual respect for singer-songwriters and it's a rare find truly. The room was intimate and the sound was ever so present. Raw and full.

It was new for me and I was quite nervous but I enjoyed being up there in the spotlight. I spoke with one of the judges to receive some feedback of my performance. I'll keep it to myself but he was both encouraging and constructive.

I placed in the top 3 finalists. Did not advance but I was fine. During the competition, it stopped being about that and more about listening and performing.

I'll admit a couple of days before, I was wondering if I am cut out for this? Where do I belong genre wise and why must I continue searching and fluttering about when all I want is to know where I best fit as a singer/musician/songwriter?

One thing from this weekend was most meaningful for me. The presence of sound, music, judges, and uncertainty amidst all of it. It was as if a magnifying glass was held up to me and I was forced to look at myself. Ugh...what a horrid thing anyone has to do, look at themselves so up close and personal...and judge.

However, as a result of it all there was a decision that was laid out for me. Do you want to commit to being critical of your craft in order to grow? To get into the grime and nitty gritty of your performance, your weaknesses, your strengths and continue to stretch yourself? Do you want this all for the sake of music/singing/writing?

If I may be so honest with you, I'm not quite sure I like it when I get constructive feedback or when someone seems displeased with my music and especially when I have to admit, yeah I need some work there and there and really I'm slacking in an area which is supposedly my greatest strength?

However, if I may be honest again, there's an energy that abounds within all of this for me which is seemingly impossible to explain. It's an energy that keeps me hopeful and some may say an inner light that is rare.

Video to posted soon on my website.

Thanks for reading whoever you are. I hope you find the same energy and conviction as well.

<3

C

Backward and Forward

Some days are good, some are bad, some are iffy, and some you wished never happened. I suppose my day fell in between those somehow. It's one of those days when you forget why you do what you do. I'm referring to my music. I wonder if people think and fret over life plans as much as I do.

It's time like these where you bake, go running, crank up the music and dance and then wonder what else do you do to make these thoughts go away and why the heck haven't those knot in your stomach subsided?

I found myself going back to the "why" of it all. It's precisely moments like these where you remind yourself of the why for the sake of your beliefs, convictions, plans, type of salad dressing, relationships, etc...

It brings you back to fragrant memories, where it all started and at that moment, you smile and remember that it's going to be ok.

My moment of making music began not for an audience or even a close loved one. Rather, in my college chapel late at night where I wrote my first song. It wasn't complex. Simple chords, really. Just me, the piano, pen and paper and an experience. It was at that moment when I had meaning, an emotion and experience and I wanted to put it into some form to remember it and give it life. I had an important moment there that paved the path for which I am treading on currently.

Know your why's. For I personally believe everything you do hinges on that itty-bitty 3-letter word.

<3

C

Childhood

When mom would pick me up from school, occasionally I would be greeted by a white paper bag filled with yummy M&M cookies made fresh from Margie's Sweet Shop. You have no idea how much anticipation I had prior to opening the bag filled with these delicious treats. I can recount the details, texture and most importantly, the warm fuzzy feelings. Tonight, I attempted to bake them in hopes they would turn out just right. Of course, they aren't identical but I was quite satisfied. :)

Aren't they adorable?

mmmm good,

C

Head scratching

I have so much to say. It's been terribly, incredibly, exhaustingly too long!

I just had a concert. You find yourself planning and planning and then it

happens and you can't even catch your breath.

Well, I am finally catching it and reflecting on the good and bad. I'm a rather terribly critical person. We did not have as many people at the concert and I was hoping since we had appeared on many news stations, radio shows, and featured in the paper, that'd we have a better turn out than last year. My first inclination is to think, did we not do enough?

It's funny how sometimes every time things don't go your way, you find yourself scratching your head and thinking it through again. This is what I have been doing. Sure, I basked in the glory of good music that was made with new additional music players: a violin, cello and flute. However, basking only lasts for a little bit.

This whole scratching of the head is quite sobering. Although things did not turn out exactly how I wanted, i.e. a full crowd, recognition, smoother night with the lights. The audience there, specifically the program workers from the mission, were the most supportive. If they had a wonderful time and night out from the mission, then it was worth it.

I got to work with incredible people: sound, tech, volunteers, speakers and musicians. I got to be part of all of it...overwhelming indeed but well worth the ride. I was amazed and humbled.

Where do I go from here, you might ask?

Well the adventure does NOT stop here, I can assure you. Of course, I must catch up on sleep and eating is important too and walks while Fall is here most definitely. However, I'm ready for more. I'm ready for some more head scratching time. I'm glad I could make people laugh and take them through the musical world in which I live in.

Summary:

• 2canshare benefit raised $880.00 for the Faith Mission's Faith Refuge
• Faith Mission program workers had a delightful time
• My mom cried
• Dad did an exceptional job on the guitar
• Musicians were fantastic
• I was quirky and awkward

I know I am no one famous and I know there wasn't a huge audience but one thing that meant the most to me was what a lady told me, who founded the Faith Refuge for women and children. She summed up the entire night: talented and sincere.

That's all I needed to hear and now, moving forward.

Love,

C

PS stay in touch with my musical happenings please!!!---My Website