"It's that time of year..."

As you get older, sometimes Christmas time starts to lose its sparkle.

It's like your eyes start to see the: multitude of cars in the lanes, busy people, longer lines, longer lists of gifts, less money in your pocket, disgruntled family members, broken relationships, time running out, and so forth.

It's like your ears start to hear the: horns blaring, grumbling footsteps, impatient sighs, tissue paper crinkling, change spilling on to the counter, yelling, lack of conversation, tick tock tick tock...

Sights, sense, smell, surreal

Expectations that make us peel

our skins to what's underneath.

We want it to be real,

the sights, sense, smell, surreal,

and somehow it's all lost.

The layers continue to grow,

taking even longer as we age,

to disrobe the rinds.

I look around to see in hopes of

something like beauty, a

sound, a warm touch, a stream of winter's cold air.

I can't seem to feel it in my bones,

the layers keep me from feeling at home.

I think this Christmas is different for me this year. The hustle and bustle has made me realize so many things about myself. How I long for a wonderful cheery Christmas yet seem so easily upset when plans don't go my way or when the line is too long or when people don't fall into my list of what is right/wrong or when time is racing and I feel like I'm going 5 mph. It seem as if Christmas illuminates the truly good and truly ugly. It's when family pressures increase, money is an put on the spot, time is split between family and friends that we see right through those "happy and jolly" spirits. I'm not sure whether this thought is hopeful or completely depressing. I do wish for you moments...moments when you take a seat and breathe in the air.

Silence fills my mind in moments,

if only for those moments, I may

find solace and layers melt away.

I will want to feel again.

<3

C

Tire shop, squeals, and Mozart

While I was sitting in a tire shop waiting for my car to be done I decided to finish up a book I'd been reading. Were there excited squeals coming from my corner? Yes...A chuckle or two? Perhaps? Sighs of relief? You betcha. Nothing like reading a book you completely relate to.

"The story goes that a young, aspiring composer cornered Mozart and demanded to know, "How should I learn the art of composition?"

Mozart answered, "Don't compose a thing until you have studied the great works carefully, until you have understood the methods of the masters. Wait until you are ready, and then and only then, you may try your hand at composing," The student looked shocked and disappointed, said, "But Maestro, certainly you did not proceed in that way." Mozart answered, "I never asked such a question either."

Those who want to compose usually shoot first and ask questions later."

-Bruce Adolphe, Of Mozart, Parrots and Cherry Blossoms in the Wind

Now I certainly do not in any way compare myself to the likes of Mozart! ha! I do however, feel the same type of spark he must have felt when he had the urge to bring music to form. People ask me how I write songs, compose melodies for voice and instrument even ones I've never played. I don't guarantee they are by any means adequate parts or even appropriate for the instrument(s) and if they aren't, I discuss with my player, we negotiate, move on and I learn yet another tool for my writing. :) I just love it all...words, music, and ideas. They come about and something in me stirs to get them written down. It's just how it is...like eating, breathing, and sleeping. It keeps me alive.

<3

C

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Soak up

These past few days I've been working on my Christmas EP as well as a music video to promote it. These are new frontiers for me and I've been soaking it up and learning gobs and gobs of information. It's been incredible. I completely respect those sound engineers and videographers for all they do. It's an incredibly tedious, creative and detailed job that requires an enormous amount of patience.

It's been a great time getting to be in "their worlds" and see how they view things. I absolutely love it. I probably won't banking on this EP and these people aren't famous or anything but they see the creative world of music in a different way than I do. That's quite enough for me to amazed and grateful, for I am able to understand and see music in a different way. That's the best thing.

Onward to music making and hoping to make it to Christmas this year with restful and joyful spirits. It's a good time for it friends.

Love,

C

PS--> EP will be available for free download on Monday, December 19, 2011!!!!!!!

Photo by: Torin Halsey

Just one day.

My parents went to a Christmas party tonight.

I went to finish up mixing my Christmas EP.

My parents had the best time playing the white elephant gift exchange game at the party. I had a blast learning how to mix a CD, mess with different effects, and create different sounds at the studio.

I remember growing up going to Christmas parties where the white elephant gift exchange was a must for Christmas games. My parents would always hear about it yet never participated in it.

For some reason, it was just neat to me that they got to enjoy themselves and play this silly little game while I got to embark on what might possibly be a long term music career for me. It's like my parents got to have some fun tonight. Things have been rough with them but I'm not one to write a blog complaining about my life.

I'm just taking one day at a time. All I know is tonight we all laughed in whatever we did and had a good time. Just one day. One day at a time.

On to tomorrow,

C