Square 1

We all like moving from point A to point B, progressively making our way towards the end of the alphabet in order to feel like we got somewhere. Productivity and contributing to society right? In the end, we want to have figured out this thing called: life.

You hear a lot about square 1 and starting back at square 1.

Square

4 corners are 90 °

4 equal sides

P=4S

A=s²

You do the formula and it all adds up just fine.

Life

No corners or many corners (depends on how much you hide)

A good and bad side, a maybe side, a good side this time, bad side another time...

P=have you reached the end of the sky yet?

A=the air you breathe in, the thoughts you think, the worries you have, the joys you have, the fears you have, the bed you sleep in, the people you see everyday, the hearts you heal, the hearts you break, plus, the city you live in, plus, state you live in, plus, the continent, plus the places you will live in, plus the day you die and your body fills the earth back up again.

There are certain events that have occurred in my life over the past couple of months. They aren't super dramatic or terrible rather just things that force you to look at the mirror if you are brave enough. If I had the choice to go out for ice cream instead, I'd be debating what flavor I wanted to dig into, oh if only life choices were this sweet? However, these events affected my: relationships-family, platonic and romantic, family, career, outlook on life, and faith. I'd like to think I took all those obstacles, wrestled them to the ground and rose higher with my maturity where I feel I am finally becoming an adult with strands of pearls to show for, along with my big girl shoes that finally feel snug.

Rather, I feel they have exposed my immaturity and I hate to admit it but it would be even more immature of me not to. Just when you think you've got it under your belt, that somehow you have mastered level 1 and are ready to brave the second, something catches your foot and you come tumbling back down.

Once in awhile Sometimes Most times we try to pretend our tumbles don't really matter. We continue on our journey and put on the brave face for the worst to come. Yet inside, the storm already came and ravaged your remains. Sometimes I think we try to simplify life only to make it more complicated. We are all running so hard and fast and we wonder why we feel dizzy at the end of the day.

So, I find myself back to square 1, point A, and level 1...not on my own will, mind you. I would love to say that I gracefully accepted it and glided back to the beginning but I must say it was quite the opposite. Kicking, screaming, cursing involved. Though it still seems odd to me that I compare my life to living in a shape...I suppose I'm just going back to the beginning of my thoughts, my visions, faith, and dreams. Returning back, I'm starting to see: less corners to hide in, more than right and wrong, and that the sky is bigger than me.

I'm not quite sure where everyone else in the world is but that doesn't really matter. I believe one of the greatest thing is being able to go back to the first place with a different lens and restarting again just for yourself. From there stems life and there, we are able to give in a genuine way. Our existence is like a vapor in the wind (James 4:14). 200 years before, no one knew us and 200 years after, probably not either. It's just how it is. However, with this little vapor I have, I want to try my best in breathing it all in.

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."

--1 Corinthians 13:11

Peace,

C