My Brilliance

August 31, 2013

I would burn through a million suns for you,

Stare until time collapsed,

For I would be closer.

We would be and nothing more.

There's no need for we are filled to the brim. 

From top to bottom, roots exposed,

There is nothing to hide,

To give all and be all.  

Brilliant and living,

The truth entirely.

We burn brilliantly.

Turn the page and the story goes,

My love, my rose,

My brilliance and me.

Song Lyrics

"and if I fall, would you lend a hand,
if nothing else, would you please just stand,
all I need is your loving heart to grace my broken parts..."

"You remind me just how much I need,
you will always be exactly what I need."

"You know where to put your coat cause you've been here more than most,
baby, please stay, please."

"Lonely one, what are you fighting for, what are you dying for these days?
Lonely one, I see you crying more and now you're done for these days.
You look me in the eye and you can't hide anymore.
I see your lonely lines inside.
Hold your head up high, I see the light in side."

"If I'm honest with myself, these pictures of you I want to pour out of my head,
but instead they solidify in me with appetites I continually feed."

Yours truly,
C

Love Sonata

Love Sonata in Red

2/12/13

by Casie Luong

I. Andante

Is this really about us? You? Me?

How much am I worth?

How much do you see?

How much do I want?

How much do you need?

A stamp to my forehead,

We passed with flying colors of red,

superior markings of errors and praise.

Validation meets Satisfaction.

A matrimonial union is made.

II. Allegretto dolce

I have a name and you said it.

I have a heart and you bear it.

I have arms that make you fall deeper than the floor.

I have lines and sing-song melodies that float upward outlining birds in the sky.

Hi-hi, hey-hey

Hum-da-dum

Hi-hi, Ha-hey, ha-hey

You have a freckle and I pinch it.

You wince but I like it.

You have eyes that send me through the ceiling,

Sighing and singing, fluttering and feeling,

Hi-hi, hey-hey

Hum-da-hum

Hi-hi, Ha-hey, ha-hey

III. Lento assai solenne

Trenches darkened trenches masqueraded by flowered feelings.

A celebration or a time of mourning?

Either way, he’s left or she’s left yearning.

Luminous, ominous doubting.

Does he love me? Do I love him?

Carnivorous questions eating through my skin,

pushing through to make a home in my chambers,

the deepest parts of me

and

I. cave. in.

I fear in loss.

Holes and emptiness hang like moss,

An abandoned ravine that once had youth and possibilities.

Love, where are your markings of errors and praise?

I’ve lost my name, my sing-song phrase, phrase, phrase.

IV. Allegro con bravura

When a storm has passed,

morning birds, remind us to wake again.

To us, you, me, quiet, talkative, bashful he and she,

forgetting the wants and forgetting the needs,

abandoning taking and learning to give.

The winds die down and up we fly on a sing-song high,

rapidly boasting our colors melding in the sky:

pinks, reds, blues, yellow, greens, oranges and white,

The deepest night of darkness is behind.

Yes--the Deepest Night of Darkness is Behind.

Let us stamp the ground!

Stamp hard into the ground:

Mistakes, Misery, Misfortune and brothers of the same sound.

Let us seize the light of day!

Make new what was made!

Morning birds, remind us to wake again!

Yes, remind us to wake again!

The Blues

I'm a pebbled lyric textured in smoke,
if only I drank grace more often, I'd be smoother,
I'd have a shine that gave the moon its proper reflection.

I float from the lips of someone troubled and perplexed by the plate they were served.
What else did they expect? Something better than the blues?

I'm many different shades of melancholy,
no one knows what kind yet everyone understands.
Nighttime is my best time.
It's when it is ok to be naked.

When I'm left hanging in the air,
someone grabs ahold of me and invites into their memories.
I come and sit with them there, be with them there.

I sound lonesome but I have many friends,
they inhale pieces of pebbled feelings that I have to offer.
It rounds them out.
Someone's always singing the blues.

Realize

The stroke, the strike, the depth and ribbons of textured conversation.
Freshness, I want to be married. Together, we dive head first and swirl in a never ending waltz.

I want us to say something, have a meaningful message, one that implodes with conviction and explodes with redemption and discovery.

Yes, we go that deep,
We only go that deep here.
It starts in the deep and swells as a song
where you can only close your eyes to truly realize. 

Gate

"When I am in the consciousness of God,
those whom I love have a mystic value.
They shine, as if a light were glowing in them.
Even those who frown on me and love me not seem part
of a great scheme of good.
(Or else they seem like stray bumble bees buzzing at a window, headed the wrong way, yet seeking light).

So it is when my soul steps through the postern gate into the presence of God.
Big things become small and small things become great.
The near becomes far and the future is near.
The lowly and despised is shot through with glory,
and most of human power and greatness seem as full of infernal iniquities
as a carcass is full of maggots.

God is the substance of all revolutions;
When I am in him; I am in the Kingdom of God and the Fatherland of my Soul.
Is it strange that I love God?

-Walter Raushenbush, The Little Gate to God

Nothing at all

It's like staring at a gift right in front of my eyes and not being able to feel joy. I don't like what I see, I don't like what is happening.

What is happening?

I abhor this part of me and that's the scariest thing I've ever admitted.
How do I get rid of this terrible monster that placed its tentacles in every inch, in every part of my being?

Remove it fast!

Will there be anything left? Any good? Change? Newness? An entirely different world? I'm frightened but I'd rather feel frightened than nothing at all.