Remember

Words from my latest song:

"Dreaming, feelings of returning again and turning again"

It's easy to get bogged down with the rut of life...the same everyday kinds of things, with expectations, envy, doubt and uncertainty.

Recently I've started to get ready for planning another benefit concert soon. This will be the second annual concert and I'm definitely excited. Yet, my face doesn't seem to carry the same excitement as shown in my words. It's doubtful and scared and looks like it's forgotten why I started doing these things in the first place.

So I thought back to my girls at the shelter in Vietnam. I recently heard someone speak about emotional experiences and tied it to religious experiences and I thought to myself...do we just base our religious experiences solely on emotion? Isn't that rather superficial? Nevertheless, I reverted back to my girls...they were the motivation for why I started to fall in love with the concept of a benefit concert. I raised money to support them. I got to do what I love, music and share it with others and include them in a project so dear to me. That's why I love it.

I went back to my photo album with my girls and they made me smile. Each and everyone of them. I fell in love and was inspired that summer and I've made music whole heartedly ever since and when I have those moments where my face seems unconvinced of this musical pursuit of mine, I look back...emotional or not, superficial or not, that experience meant the world to me and will keep meaning the world to me.

It's interesting, I remember one time in my piano lessons with my professor, he could tell I was getting really frustrated with my playing and I could tell he was frustrated with my progress and he told me, I'm not sure what experience it will be for you but I know one happened with me where it made me look at music differently, it pushed me to go above and beyond my approach with performing...and it didn't make any sense to me then...I tried to picture my family and fake an emotional conviction to be the best for them but it just didn't happen and I tried to think of many other things...if I lost a limb and lost my ability to play etc...yet, each day, more and more as I commit to the music, that comment is making more sense to me and how grateful I am because of it, all of it.

Love,

C