the prettiest

today was beautiful. i ended up driving around a bit longer than expected. the clouds were out and the cool air breezed through. i had the windows down and some folk music in the background.

as I was driving, I could hear leaves rustling in the streets. it was absolutely soothing.

you know those pitiful moments you have when you wonder just how much longer do you have to be alone? when will you have that story of 'i found someone and they found me' and now, i'm closer to having that normal story or at least expected story.

i have a friend who recently had a date and i was happy for her. surprisingly I would usually be happy on the outside and cry 'why me' on the inside but I didn't. i just smiled with excitement for her because she's a beautiful person and someone needs to tell he that.

i have a friend who is going to ask a girl for her number and all I can think is lucky girl. he is a dear friend and i am so happy for him.

so me, well here i am in the midst of music, life, musics, writings, and dreams thinking, "hmm it would be pretty easy to throw a poor Casie party" wouldn't it? course even then, i can't help but be excited for my dear friends. i'm so proud of them for staying just as they are.

the other day I was musing over what the word 'pretty' meant in relation to people. physically, emotionally, all of it. being real is pretty. sometimes it surprises you and can look quite messy. really messy, like crying about how life doesn't make much sense, wondering if you're worth it, if he/she would even notice you, seizing the awkward moments, confessing, admitting you need a shoulder or two, spilling your guts out and then some etc... Much like baking cookies (funny thought huh?), flour goes everywhere and chocolate chips run amuck on your counter as you steal some for your own pleasures and voila!, lovely cookies are the outcome of such productivity. it's just how we get there. it's messy and it's real which is, in my opinion, the prettiest we can get.

Love,

C

PS www.casieluong.com for upcoming concerts!

Sober

Today is 9/11 and it's a universal day in the US. Lots of families mourning the loss of loved ones while others recount exactly where they were and how they felt on such a tragic and unpredictable day. I can't believe it's been 10 years since. It's important to remember though, it keeps us sober.

As the days continue to inch towards October 7th (The Two Can Share benefit concert), I've become increasingly anxious for the outcome. We are trying out new things this year such as: more PR, ticket sales, and a new set list. I'm excited as all get out. I'm scared as all get out. As with anything new, the possibilities are uncertain.

My friend and I are trying to get sponsors within our community and it has been hmm rough. Given the state of our economy, I'd say that has put a damper on our tries. It's interesting though...you mention benefit concert and everyone is all happy and then you mention ticket sales or donating money and people freeze. The sense of "yay we are helping each other" sort of dissipates into thin air. I understand businesses have certain restrictions and obligations, etc and that some people hardly have enough to provide for their families. I get that.

So I sit here with Two can share benefit concert flyers and tickets around me on the floor, wondering 'why am I doing this'? Why the music, the dream, the idea of helping others in need of basic human necessities, the trying, the cause, the investment and feeling like all I encounter is a brick wall. I wonder myself how often I've said no to a benefit concert and how that person who organized it must have felt and how I still thought I was such a humanitarian in other aspects of my life.

I wonder, 'am I not really cut out for this'? Is this not anyone else's passion and if it isn't then how do I get the word out and get people interested? I want people to give because they want to give. It's their own decision to make.

This whole ordeal has made me look at money differently...I'm not going to lie...I'm pretty thrifty and my mom and dad probably give a whole lot more than I ever would for anything but I'm learning that it's important to understand the necessities in life and go on from there. It's a tough lesson to learn and I'm trying just like the next person.

Maybe I set the bar too high for selling tickets this year for the benefit concert but I would be most disappointed if I have set the bar too high for people in my friends and community. Furthermore, I only say these things because I've gotten to walk through these shoes of organizing a benefit concert and I can only say that my heart has been made sober through all of it.

<3

Casie