In process

It was a wonderful weekend full of family, food, laziness and craft time. I was writing a letter yesterday and forgot what the date was. I don't think that has happened to me in a really long time. I'm usually quite on to of my dates and to-dos...but this past weekend wasn't about that at all. I had my opening weekend with a musical and got to catch up with family, friends and craft time.

My nieces and I had an awesome time cutting up sweaters and making something new out them. Who would have thought people were this crafty!Ugh...utterly disgusts me how creative people are...so a friend and I thought we'd give it a try and somehow I dragged my nieces into it!

We had the best time making these. Were we expecting perfect mittens and hats?...well maybe...did we reap those results? HA! no :) However, it was fun and sure, they may look alittle odd but that's what craft time is about.

The trick to these hats and mittens is getting the sewing part down. You have to turn them inside out to sew and piece them together...and as I kept sewing, I started to wonder if this chaotic patchwork will amount to anything. It's not pretty. However, as I started to turn the hat or mitten back out for its normal wear, I was surprised to see that it looked somewhat normal. It's kind of quirky but it fits.

End results never quite match what you intended yet somehow...sometimes they end up being so much better than you ever thought.

Quirky kind of love,

C

PS. Those beautiful models are my adorable nieces. <3

Both sides

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed.

Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,

From win and lose, and still somehow

It's life's illusions i recall.

I really don't know life at all.

-Joni Mitchell

Well it certainly has been some time since I've jotted down my little musings on life. I just had my first performance as a lead in a musical. I must admit, until our first performance, I was starting to lose energy and excitement with each rehearsal. However, post-performance, I gained momentum back. I love playing to the audience. There is something so energizing about a performer and audience connection no matter what type of performance you have.

All that leading up to today...Thanksgiving, a much needed break to be with lots of people and eat. We don't ever take enough time to just sit and eat...soaking up the entire time with conversation and enjoyment of the food prepared. It's a truly relaxing and wonderful thing. I decided to take a walk outside halfway through the meal. It was a wise decision and even refreshing, for the weather was decked in its beautiful fall glow.

Families. History. Some good and some bad. Memories made and memories never to be brought up ever again. A holiday that is to be about love and thanksgiving doesn't quite turn out as we had expected. I must admit it's terribly disappointing when you want everyone to just enjoy each other, eat, drink and be merry. Funny thing is, I think we all feel this way. We just want it to be right and somehow it isn't and this is precisely an expectation we all carry to our family gatherings each holiday.

Gobbling the goodness leftover from the day.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Peace,

C

Different heartbeats

I have found myself lately wondering what genre my music falls into. The more I try to figure it out, the more that stress nerve bulges out of my forehead (I don't really have one there...just figuratively speaking I suppose). Anyway, I sometimes wish I had just one genre that I stuck to. It would make life easier wouldn't it?

Then again we'd all like to know we have options right? Who would want to be forced into anything? I know I wouldn't. In fact, it's moments when a decision is made for me, I stubbornly turn the other way. So basically Casie, you should be very pleased to know that your options are very free and open and you aren't tied down to anything. Time is too short to be tied down to anything. Keep on walking friends.

The same songs,

play over again by

the musician.

He wants to be heard,

so he speaks the absurd

and maybe he'll win my heart.

The music, it reminds me of

a memory.

So I buy, play, gorge and bury

myself in its ambient lust.

Somewhere it speaks to someone.

To him it's gold,

to her, it's coal.

Music and Memory

from a musician's soul.

Night and sweet lullabies,

C

Luminous

I recently entered 2 paintings into a local art show and one of my paintings was bought by someone! :) eeeeeekkkkk. I'm hanging in someone's house...not literally speaking...nevertheless, madly exciting.

<3

C

really I do?

Recently I just had a wonderful experience at a songwriting competition in La Grange, TX at the Bugle Boy. It was a quaint and lovely listening room. It was the first experience I had in a listening room and it was amazing. Everyone had this mutual respect for singer-songwriters and it's a rare find truly. The room was intimate and the sound was ever so present. Raw and full.

It was new for me and I was quite nervous but I enjoyed being up there in the spotlight. I spoke with one of the judges to receive some feedback of my performance. I'll keep it to myself but he was both encouraging and constructive.

I placed in the top 3 finalists. Did not advance but I was fine. During the competition, it stopped being about that and more about listening and performing.

I'll admit a couple of days before, I was wondering if I am cut out for this? Where do I belong genre wise and why must I continue searching and fluttering about when all I want is to know where I best fit as a singer/musician/songwriter?

One thing from this weekend was most meaningful for me. The presence of sound, music, judges, and uncertainty amidst all of it. It was as if a magnifying glass was held up to me and I was forced to look at myself. Ugh...what a horrid thing anyone has to do, look at themselves so up close and personal...and judge.

However, as a result of it all there was a decision that was laid out for me. Do you want to commit to being critical of your craft in order to grow? To get into the grime and nitty gritty of your performance, your weaknesses, your strengths and continue to stretch yourself? Do you want this all for the sake of music/singing/writing?

If I may be so honest with you, I'm not quite sure I like it when I get constructive feedback or when someone seems displeased with my music and especially when I have to admit, yeah I need some work there and there and really I'm slacking in an area which is supposedly my greatest strength?

However, if I may be honest again, there's an energy that abounds within all of this for me which is seemingly impossible to explain. It's an energy that keeps me hopeful and some may say an inner light that is rare.

Video to posted soon on my website.

Thanks for reading whoever you are. I hope you find the same energy and conviction as well.

<3

C

Backward and Forward

Some days are good, some are bad, some are iffy, and some you wished never happened. I suppose my day fell in between those somehow. It's one of those days when you forget why you do what you do. I'm referring to my music. I wonder if people think and fret over life plans as much as I do.

It's time like these where you bake, go running, crank up the music and dance and then wonder what else do you do to make these thoughts go away and why the heck haven't those knot in your stomach subsided?

I found myself going back to the "why" of it all. It's precisely moments like these where you remind yourself of the why for the sake of your beliefs, convictions, plans, type of salad dressing, relationships, etc...

It brings you back to fragrant memories, where it all started and at that moment, you smile and remember that it's going to be ok.

My moment of making music began not for an audience or even a close loved one. Rather, in my college chapel late at night where I wrote my first song. It wasn't complex. Simple chords, really. Just me, the piano, pen and paper and an experience. It was at that moment when I had meaning, an emotion and experience and I wanted to put it into some form to remember it and give it life. I had an important moment there that paved the path for which I am treading on currently.

Know your why's. For I personally believe everything you do hinges on that itty-bitty 3-letter word.

<3

C

Childhood

When mom would pick me up from school, occasionally I would be greeted by a white paper bag filled with yummy M&M cookies made fresh from Margie's Sweet Shop. You have no idea how much anticipation I had prior to opening the bag filled with these delicious treats. I can recount the details, texture and most importantly, the warm fuzzy feelings. Tonight, I attempted to bake them in hopes they would turn out just right. Of course, they aren't identical but I was quite satisfied. :)

Aren't they adorable?

mmmm good,

C