really I do?

Recently I just had a wonderful experience at a songwriting competition in La Grange, TX at the Bugle Boy. It was a quaint and lovely listening room. It was the first experience I had in a listening room and it was amazing. Everyone had this mutual respect for singer-songwriters and it's a rare find truly. The room was intimate and the sound was ever so present. Raw and full.

It was new for me and I was quite nervous but I enjoyed being up there in the spotlight. I spoke with one of the judges to receive some feedback of my performance. I'll keep it to myself but he was both encouraging and constructive.

I placed in the top 3 finalists. Did not advance but I was fine. During the competition, it stopped being about that and more about listening and performing.

I'll admit a couple of days before, I was wondering if I am cut out for this? Where do I belong genre wise and why must I continue searching and fluttering about when all I want is to know where I best fit as a singer/musician/songwriter?

One thing from this weekend was most meaningful for me. The presence of sound, music, judges, and uncertainty amidst all of it. It was as if a magnifying glass was held up to me and I was forced to look at myself. Ugh...what a horrid thing anyone has to do, look at themselves so up close and personal...and judge.

However, as a result of it all there was a decision that was laid out for me. Do you want to commit to being critical of your craft in order to grow? To get into the grime and nitty gritty of your performance, your weaknesses, your strengths and continue to stretch yourself? Do you want this all for the sake of music/singing/writing?

If I may be so honest with you, I'm not quite sure I like it when I get constructive feedback or when someone seems displeased with my music and especially when I have to admit, yeah I need some work there and there and really I'm slacking in an area which is supposedly my greatest strength?

However, if I may be honest again, there's an energy that abounds within all of this for me which is seemingly impossible to explain. It's an energy that keeps me hopeful and some may say an inner light that is rare.

Video to posted soon on my website.

Thanks for reading whoever you are. I hope you find the same energy and conviction as well.

<3

C