Childhood

When mom would pick me up from school, occasionally I would be greeted by a white paper bag filled with yummy M&M cookies made fresh from Margie's Sweet Shop. You have no idea how much anticipation I had prior to opening the bag filled with these delicious treats. I can recount the details, texture and most importantly, the warm fuzzy feelings. Tonight, I attempted to bake them in hopes they would turn out just right. Of course, they aren't identical but I was quite satisfied. :)

Aren't they adorable?

mmmm good,

C

Head scratching

I have so much to say. It's been terribly, incredibly, exhaustingly too long!

I just had a concert. You find yourself planning and planning and then it

happens and you can't even catch your breath.

Well, I am finally catching it and reflecting on the good and bad. I'm a rather terribly critical person. We did not have as many people at the concert and I was hoping since we had appeared on many news stations, radio shows, and featured in the paper, that'd we have a better turn out than last year. My first inclination is to think, did we not do enough?

It's funny how sometimes every time things don't go your way, you find yourself scratching your head and thinking it through again. This is what I have been doing. Sure, I basked in the glory of good music that was made with new additional music players: a violin, cello and flute. However, basking only lasts for a little bit.

This whole scratching of the head is quite sobering. Although things did not turn out exactly how I wanted, i.e. a full crowd, recognition, smoother night with the lights. The audience there, specifically the program workers from the mission, were the most supportive. If they had a wonderful time and night out from the mission, then it was worth it.

I got to work with incredible people: sound, tech, volunteers, speakers and musicians. I got to be part of all of it...overwhelming indeed but well worth the ride. I was amazed and humbled.

Where do I go from here, you might ask?

Well the adventure does NOT stop here, I can assure you. Of course, I must catch up on sleep and eating is important too and walks while Fall is here most definitely. However, I'm ready for more. I'm ready for some more head scratching time. I'm glad I could make people laugh and take them through the musical world in which I live in.

Summary:

• 2canshare benefit raised $880.00 for the Faith Mission's Faith Refuge
• Faith Mission program workers had a delightful time
• My mom cried
• Dad did an exceptional job on the guitar
• Musicians were fantastic
• I was quirky and awkward

I know I am no one famous and I know there wasn't a huge audience but one thing that meant the most to me was what a lady told me, who founded the Faith Refuge for women and children. She summed up the entire night: talented and sincere.

That's all I needed to hear and now, moving forward.

Love,

C

PS stay in touch with my musical happenings please!!!---My Website

the prettiest

today was beautiful. i ended up driving around a bit longer than expected. the clouds were out and the cool air breezed through. i had the windows down and some folk music in the background.

as I was driving, I could hear leaves rustling in the streets. it was absolutely soothing.

you know those pitiful moments you have when you wonder just how much longer do you have to be alone? when will you have that story of 'i found someone and they found me' and now, i'm closer to having that normal story or at least expected story.

i have a friend who recently had a date and i was happy for her. surprisingly I would usually be happy on the outside and cry 'why me' on the inside but I didn't. i just smiled with excitement for her because she's a beautiful person and someone needs to tell he that.

i have a friend who is going to ask a girl for her number and all I can think is lucky girl. he is a dear friend and i am so happy for him.

so me, well here i am in the midst of music, life, musics, writings, and dreams thinking, "hmm it would be pretty easy to throw a poor Casie party" wouldn't it? course even then, i can't help but be excited for my dear friends. i'm so proud of them for staying just as they are.

the other day I was musing over what the word 'pretty' meant in relation to people. physically, emotionally, all of it. being real is pretty. sometimes it surprises you and can look quite messy. really messy, like crying about how life doesn't make much sense, wondering if you're worth it, if he/she would even notice you, seizing the awkward moments, confessing, admitting you need a shoulder or two, spilling your guts out and then some etc... Much like baking cookies (funny thought huh?), flour goes everywhere and chocolate chips run amuck on your counter as you steal some for your own pleasures and voila!, lovely cookies are the outcome of such productivity. it's just how we get there. it's messy and it's real which is, in my opinion, the prettiest we can get.

Love,

C

PS www.casieluong.com for upcoming concerts!

Sober

Today is 9/11 and it's a universal day in the US. Lots of families mourning the loss of loved ones while others recount exactly where they were and how they felt on such a tragic and unpredictable day. I can't believe it's been 10 years since. It's important to remember though, it keeps us sober.

As the days continue to inch towards October 7th (The Two Can Share benefit concert), I've become increasingly anxious for the outcome. We are trying out new things this year such as: more PR, ticket sales, and a new set list. I'm excited as all get out. I'm scared as all get out. As with anything new, the possibilities are uncertain.

My friend and I are trying to get sponsors within our community and it has been hmm rough. Given the state of our economy, I'd say that has put a damper on our tries. It's interesting though...you mention benefit concert and everyone is all happy and then you mention ticket sales or donating money and people freeze. The sense of "yay we are helping each other" sort of dissipates into thin air. I understand businesses have certain restrictions and obligations, etc and that some people hardly have enough to provide for their families. I get that.

So I sit here with Two can share benefit concert flyers and tickets around me on the floor, wondering 'why am I doing this'? Why the music, the dream, the idea of helping others in need of basic human necessities, the trying, the cause, the investment and feeling like all I encounter is a brick wall. I wonder myself how often I've said no to a benefit concert and how that person who organized it must have felt and how I still thought I was such a humanitarian in other aspects of my life.

I wonder, 'am I not really cut out for this'? Is this not anyone else's passion and if it isn't then how do I get the word out and get people interested? I want people to give because they want to give. It's their own decision to make.

This whole ordeal has made me look at money differently...I'm not going to lie...I'm pretty thrifty and my mom and dad probably give a whole lot more than I ever would for anything but I'm learning that it's important to understand the necessities in life and go on from there. It's a tough lesson to learn and I'm trying just like the next person.

Maybe I set the bar too high for selling tickets this year for the benefit concert but I would be most disappointed if I have set the bar too high for people in my friends and community. Furthermore, I only say these things because I've gotten to walk through these shoes of organizing a benefit concert and I can only say that my heart has been made sober through all of it.

<3

Casie

Definition

Black or white is gray

your color is different than mine, but I won't say

and if I say, what term will I use?

Will it be capitalized,

if not, then abused.

Didn't know it was wrong,

til' someone told me so,

was my world better when I didn't know?

Did I make you mad, mad today?

Choosing no side,

just sat in gray.

He or she, I'm not so sure.

It's ok, our way's better than before.

New views, new shoes so many to choose,

a decision's never made but you'll never lose,

you're a winner, you're your own,

you don't have to commit.

"Born this way baby",

you make your own fit.

You're never wrong,

you're always right,

If there is darkness, there is light.

Be your own, you're own is great,

No definition, no mistake.

Black, white, greenbluegray,

today, tomorrow, it's ok.

You don't have to know,

so you don't have to show,

that you choose me, trust me, love me-

your sins are atoned.

This is the life, the life you chose,

one where the definites take repose.

Free to wander, free to roam,

free to separate yourself from home.

Tradition, rot away

until something new arrives,

we all have better things to do

than wait for you to sink into the ground,

your honest, sinking, softening sounds.

Forget your words,

there's none of them left,

they have no place,

they're old and bereft.

This is the life, the life you chose,

one where the definites take repose.

<3

C

"Born this way baby"-Lady Gaga 2010

After all

As leaders are vying for the Presidential Race of 2012, we've all either been tuning into the news, shaking out heads, discussing with friends, nodding in agreement, or shutting our eyes to all that is going on.

As each person steps up to the stand, each continue to address the issues they believe to be most important. Other times, they continue to criticize each other's political tactics. I wonder what these candidates were like in recess back in elementary school. Were they writing speeches with crayons? Rallying other kids? Bribing others with candy? Well, maybe not but I'm sure they were the head of their clubhouses, thinking they were the coolest bunch of kids with their clubhouse bracelets or something.

Reading and listening to campaign speeches upon speeches, there is something I haven't really witnessed and maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. I hardly ever hear candidates complimenting each other or pointing out a good thing the other party is contributing...I mean after all what does 'working like a team' have anything to do with politics!

I'm not asking for fluffy happiness and kum-baya time. I'm asking for once, could someone in the political race say something kind about the other opposing team/person/view? Just point out one good thing and then carry on with your own views.

Last food for thought...if the very people who believe they can change and do good for our society can't even point out at least one good thing in their opposing party, who's to say, they can suddenly generate good for the people once they become leaders? Every person thinks the other person is less intelligent and has an even more unintelligent way of doing things. Few actually stay open minded on that topic and I'm not talking conservative or liberal people here, just the far and few that I wish I was more like at times as well. Even families have dividing lines but somehow they are forced to work it out together and it can be done. Sure there is some grumbling and frustrated sighs here and there but in the end, it's about the family.

Believe you me, I'm all about watching a good race, seeing some fall and some rise up in the midst of trial. A fair game with great competitors is a game worth watching. All I'm asking from the competitors is: a handshake before the game, an encouraging remark once in a while or maybe a smile to one another, a sincere one at that?

What good would that do? After all, aren't we all trying to do something good here?

Peace,

C

I will wait

Today is the end of two days full of music. It's a good kind of tired. One I wouldn't mind having for the rest of my living days. Of course, throw in some sleep and down time in there and I'll be just fine.

I have one more page in my journal left and I thought "hmm there are so many directions it could go." I usually don't think about what I put in my journal, I just write. However, I do give thought to the very first and last pages. I believe the starting and ending have some merit. I'm sure it's purely psychological but that's what I think.

I don't like change. I don't like letting go. Yet, when someone was telling me that they have a new idea and are changing things around in their student organization. I replied, well if it works or does not work, there is change and change is always good. He nodded in agreement. (thoughts: uhmmm change for you not for me...).

So change is good right? (thoughts: ugh)

You are getting my attention tonight rather than the last pages of my little journal. I'm not quite ready to finish it off. I'm not sure what I will say. It's like a date with someone special or something. I want the words to be quite telling of how I feel yet I want to be hopeful simultaneously. Is it so impossible? My head is too tired at this moment to even bridge that gap.

A dear friend of mine reminded me today, be thoughtful and respect wherever you are at in life but leave room for the possibility of change. You never know. (thoughts: change, scary, change, no way, change, really?, change, scary).

Well, my last page will be filled nevertheless. (thoughts: it will be ok...just another thing about growing up. change. breathe. change.)

Love,

C

PS picture taken at Wichita Mountains