Haze

Sometimes you have to go through some of the bad to find good...dunk your head in the water bin to bite into one of those apple? I don't know how finding the good through the bad compares to bobbing for apples but it's a strange concept isn't it? By the way, have you done that before? I haven't...secretly wish I have but then again I probably wouldn't. What if I could never get the apple out of my teeth? That's horrifying. I may have some bad dreams tonight...anyways, I digress... back to the first statement, you know what I mean right? I guess that is how I see this whole process of going through the bad stuff to find the good...it's just a strange concept...when many times you wish you could just pick the apple up with your hands from the water...easy as that.

I get the opportunities to participate in so many musical endeavors lately...whether it's accompanying people, teaching music, being a member in a band...I'm learning so much more about myself, my abilities and where I see myself going.

I admire people who deicide to choose a different profession other than music because they might possibly abhor it otherwise if they continued their music career. Is that where I stand? As I am trying out these different musical situations, it's the question of "will this make me hate music and shut off my stereo at the end of the day?" that makes me decide whether or not I could do one of these jobs as a living.

Right now what keeps me going is the music I am making with my bandmates and my solo stuff...I'm not sure if they know what a big and wonderful part of my life they are but I am glad for it.

Even though I am rather limited in my musicals experience as of now, I'm starting to see some things more clearly...what I want out of life concerning music. I don't want to ever tire of it. Ever. It's so important to me. So even if things may be difficult to sit through right now and I may not be enjoying some things...clarity will come through.

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Guards

You're a haze after the rain,
against brighter shades of leaves,
coming once in awhile,
you shine, you shine brighter than the rest.

Keep me in waking nights,
the wash of your laughter still remains
as the haziness resides.

Trust time.

Can I look at you and remain this way?
You're something golden in my eyes,
yet holding it in tightly to your chest,
you're so much more guarded than the rest.

I would be willing to stay,
find the point of making you sway,
away, away now.

You're just guarded, that's all,
unaware of my stares from the rest.

<3
C

PS Picture taken in Bayeux, France.